Born a crime

If you haven’t read “Born a crime“, I urge you to. It’s a great book by Trevor Noah. He chronicled his story growing up in South Africa in an insightful and humorous manner. It cracked me up a couple of times. As the books I read are quite serious, the humor, positivity and his experience in the book give me a quick escape sometimes, especially on bad days. Like today. Here are some quotes I particularly love:

“Being chosen is the greatest gift you can give to another human being.”

“I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done in life, any choice that I’ve made. But I’m consumed with regret for the things I didn’t do, the choices I didn’t make, the things I didn’t say. We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to. “What if…” “If only…” “I wonder what would have…” You will never, never know, and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.”

“When you shit, as you first sit down, you’re not fully in the experience yet. You are not yet a shitting person. You’re transitioning from a person about to shit to a person who is shitting. You don’t whip out your smartphone or a newspaper right away. It takes a minute to get the first shit out of the way and get in the zone and get comfortable. Once you reach that moment, that’s when it gets really nice. It’s a powerful experience, shitting. There’s something magical about it, profound even. I think God made humans shit in the way we do because it brings us back down to earth and gives us humility. I don’t care who you are, we all shit the same. Beyoncé shits. The pope shits. The Queen of England shits. When we shit we forget our airs and our graces, we forget how famous or how rich we are. All of that goes away.”

“Language brings with it an identity and a culture, or at least the perception of it. A shared language says ‘We’re the same.’ A language barrier says ‘We’re different.’ The architects of apartheid understood this. Part of the effort to divide black people was to make sure we were separated not just physically but by language as well…The great thing about language is that you can just as easily use it to do the opposite: convince people that they are the same. Racism teaches us that we are different because of the color of our skin. But because racism is stupid, it’s easily tricked.”

The downside of extreme individual freedom

Personal freedom such as freedom of speech or freedom to do whatever we want is important to every single one of us. I mean who doesn’t love it? The freedom is especially emphasized in developed countries. In the US, it’s the first Amendment in the Constitution. The positive side of individual freedom is often mentioned. What is not is the other side of it.

Everything has two sides to it and so does individual freedom. What I usually read and hear is that anyone is free to do whatever he or she wants. To the extreme. In that sense, it’s acceptable for anyone to commit murder or spit out insults to other folks. Why wouldn’t it be if we were allowed to do ANYTHING we wanted? In reality, murder or intentional insults are not acceptable. They are condemned. They lead to punishment. If it were acceptable that somebody could injure or insult us, why would we take legal actions then?

It goes to show that absolute individual freedom doesn’t come without baggage. There are two options. Either we accept its less-than-extreme version that comes with some collectively formed restrictions or we have the extreme and should talk more about its downsides. For instance, if we must have the extreme freedom of speech, expect that somebody will come at us with hate speeches or insults. Coming to this awareness may not change some people’s unfavorable behavior such as bigotry, racism or hatred. Nonetheless, we should know more about the two sides of freedom so that we know what we can choose and what we can expect.

I know my choice. I love freedom, but I don’t prefer the extreme version of it.

Madam Secretary

I have been following the show “Madam Secretary” for some time now. It doesn’t garner much attention as other shows, but for me personally it is a great show due to two main reasons

The dynamic between Madam Secretary and her husband

The way the married couple assist and rely on each other through every issue is remarkable and a thing of beauty. Whether it is a controversial issue, a confidential top-secret project or a family problem, the two characters always have each other back and figure out a way to defuse the situation at hand. Call me idealistic, but they paint the perfect picture of how couples and parents manage family and marital affairs. It screams maturity, compassion, love and understanding

Take on current subjects

This is a bigger reason in my book. Throughout its episodes, the show discusses issues that are very related to what we have in our life. Freedom of speech, difficult diplomatic issues in hot zones around the world, mine fields, the nuclear weapons, environmental threats, refugees…All come out with the vibe of positivity and a thing or two to learn from resourcefulness, collaboration and communication.

One of my favorite episodes featured one journalist having unrestricted access to the Secretary for a few days to write a profile on her. Even though the journalist has some prejudice with him and he disagrees with a foreign policy, the secretary didn’t stop him from writing what he wanted to. He eventually wrote a piece that was less than favorable, but at least “you gave both sides” – the secretary said.

Another episode is the one that was aired tonight. The speech in the end on hatred and nationalism is excellent and at the time of divisiveness and confusion right now, it is a kind of speeches that should be listened to by a far greater number of folks. I included a recording I made from my computer. The quality is not good but the audio is what matters.

Living in the moment

As the summer is drawing to a close, I make every effort to be as much in the sun as possible. Winter is coming. It’s long. It’s harsh. And it’s cold. We’ll miss the sun. Having lived in Finland and here during the winter before, I still don’t get comfortable with it.

Whenever the weather and my schedule allow, I like to sit in the sun. Read a book. sip some coffee. Work if I have to. Or just do absolutely nothing and watch the town in its warm gorgeous form. I don’t know how much longer I can still enjoy the sun of 2018. Time flies by. Almost 9 months of 2018 has come to pass.

I used to plan ahead for everything. Work, personal relationships, travel. The goal was to keep myself being busy. No minute should be wasted. Gosh, I even thought of putting water on the stove before I went to brush my teeth in the morning because the water would be boiled by the time I was done brushing my teeth. How stupid I was.

I don’t remember the exact time or the exact reason, but I guess it’s called growing up. I changed. I hardly plan any more, unless it’s absolutely necessary. I book flights last minute, sometimes only one-way. I don’t plan my itinerary while on vacation. I just go and see what unfolds in the new city. My goal every day is to have the freedom and the flexibility to see what comes up in the moment.

I still spend so much time in front of a computer or on the phone. Work, study and some stupid activities and all. It’s a work in progress. But for now, whenever asked what my goal is, my answer is to be happy and healthy. To be in the moment. I can’t change the past and living so much for the future didn’t make me happy. To some extent, I wasted some years that could have been more memorable, that could have been more spectacular.

Globalization, Wars, Internet and Anti-immigration

A few days ago, I received a message from a German friend floating a question on why racism has risen in popularity recently in Western countries. I gave him my answer and thought I should put it out here to share what I have been thinking about for quite some time.

Globalization

Nothing is perfect and neither is globalization. We have reaped its benefits for years and I suspect that we start to see its downsides now. In Western countries, globalization leads to unemployment in certain industries whether it is because firms relocate their operations to developing nations or it is because the technological advances render some industries obsolete.

Suddenly, workers who are between jobs are left with few options. The jobs that the workers are qualified for no longer exist where they live while new jobs require skills that the workers don’t have. Instead, highly skilled jobs are now done by skilled immigrant employees. Businesses care the most about their productivity. As long as they don’t have to break banks to hire qualified staff for the jobs, they’ll do it. Even if one is local but doesn’t have the qualifications, how can one be employed?

Consequently, there is tension in the society from unemployed folks and there is a sentiment that immigrants steal their jobs.

Wars and violent conflicts

Meaningless wars and violent conflicts in Africa, Middle East and other developing but unstable areas also contribute to the rise of racism. As these unfortunate events take place, the victims have no choice, but to flee for their and their family’s lives. Who can blame them? The closest safe heaven is Western Europe, which has been quite more friendlier than the US in terms of refugees.

Unfortunately, the influx of refugees is so much bigger than what the Western European countries can handle. Once the integration efforts don’t keep up with the arrivals of refugees, the refugees stay unemployed while reaping the social benefits from the governments. When that happens, some locals would understandably be upset. I mean, who wouldn’t given the high tax rates in Western European countries.? Additionally, there are some bad “apples” such as terrorists or those who committed crimes. As a consequence, local citizens grow unhappy about the refugees and immigration in general.

The Internet

Internet enables the friction-less flow of good information….as well as of bad information such as propagandas or simply false news. As human-beings, we are more drawn towards negative coverage. Hence, media outlets keep feeding us negative news on immigration regardless of whether the news is valid or how the news stands in the whole big picture. For instance, if a refugee commits a crime, what is the percentage of the incident compared to the number of crimes committed by locals in the same timeframe?

And there are folks who intentionally distribute distorted and false information to advance their agendas. As we are drowning in an ocean of news & information every day, it’s tricky to know what is what.

Validation from the US

I don’t believe that racism only existed after the above factors. However, its rise, especially in politics, can be attributed to having a validation. The validation stemmed from the election in the US in 2016 and perhaps one year before that. Suddenly, some politicians have an example to validate their less-than-desirable behavior. I couldn’t recall seeing that much racism a few years ago when wars already took place, globalization had already been going and Internet was already there. However, after 2016, the wave of racism and nationalism has risen to a new height and gone from strength to strength to the point that even countries such as Sweden or Finland have seen more anti-immigration.

I have been pretty much an immigration since 2010, except 3 years of staying in Vietnam.  The growing anti-immigration movement concerns me a great deal and the connection between the factors above has sat on my mind for a while. I used to adore globalization a lot thinking that it was such a perfect concept. Now, I don’t think it’s perfect any more.

Naval Ravikant’s take on death

Naval Ravikant is one of those people that I love to listen to. He is the CEO of Angelist and a deep thinker with remarkable insights. Below is one of the most significant lessons I learned from him. All credit is to Naval and Tim Ferriss for interviewing him.

I think a lot of the struggle we have in life comes from a deep, deep fear of death. It can take form in many ways. One can be that we want to write the great American novel. We want to achieve something in this world. We want to build something. We want to build a great piece of technology, or we want to start an amazing business, or we want to run for office and make a difference. A lot of this comes from this fear that we’re going to die, so we have to build something that lasts beyond us.

Obviously, the obsession that parents have with their children. A lot of that is warranted biological love, but some of that is also the quest for immortality. Even some of the beliefs of some of the more outlandish parts of religion I think fall into that. I don’t have the quest for immortality anymore. I think I came to this fundamental conclusion. I thought about it a lot. The universe has been around for a long time, and the universe is a very, very large place. If you’ll study even the smallest bit of science, for all practical purposes we are nothing. We are ameba. We are bacteria to the universe. We’re basically monkeys on a small rock orbiting a small backwards star in a huge galaxy, which is in an absolutely staggeringly gigantic universe, which itself may be part of a gigantic multiverse. This universe has been around probably for 10 billion years or more, and will be around for tens of billions of years afterwards. Your existence, my existence is just infinitesimal. It’s like a firefly blinking once in the night.

We’re not really here that long, and we don’t really matter that much. Nothing that we do lasts. Eventually, you will fade. Your works will fade. Your children will fade. Your thoughts will fade. These planets will fade. This sun will fade. It will all be gone. There are entire civilizations which we remember now with one or two words. Sumerian. Mayan. Do you know any Sumerians or Mayans? Do you hold any of them in high regard or esteem? Have they outlived their natural lifespan somehow? No. I think we’re just here for an extremely short period of time. From here, you can choose to believe in an afterlife or not. If you really do believe in an afterlife, then that should give you comfort and make you realize that maybe everything that goes on in this life is not that consequential. On the other hand, if you don’t believe in an afterlife, you should also come to a similar conclusion. You should realize that this is such a short and precious life that it’s really important that you don’t spend it being unhappy. There’s no excuse for spending most of your life in misery. You’ve only got 70 years out of the 50 billion or so that the universe is going to be around. Whatever your natural state is, it’s probably not this. This is your living state. Your dead state is true over a much longer time frame. When I think about the world that way, I realize it’s just kind of a game.

Which is not to say that you go to a dark place, and you start acting unethically and immorally. Quite the contrary, you realize just how precious life is and how it’s important to make sure that you enjoy yourself, you sleep well at night, you’re a good moral person, you’re generally happy, you take care of other people, you help out, but you can’t take it too seriously. You can’t get hung up over it. You can’t make yourself miserable and unhappy over it. You just have a very short period of time here on this earth. Nothing you do is going to matter that much in the long run. Don’t take yourself so seriously. That just kind of helps make everything else work.

I felt fortunate to come across this one and a half years ago. It was instrumental to the change in my perspective in life and a lot of what I do. Hopefully, you’ll find something of value from him.

 

Compounding Effect

Even though there are still 12 days or something left in September, it is the busiest month so far in this little project’s history. It is mainly due to my commitment to write more. The target is 100 posts by the end of the year and even though I don’t write every day (try to), I do as often as I can.

It’s nice to see some appreciate what I have to say, but the biggest benefit is that the more I write, the more I want to write. Before, it took quite an effort for me to sit down, have an agenda, start writing, edit, have a friend edit again for me and decide whether I should publish the piece or not. But mostly it was due to my lack of commitment to do it often. Nowadays, it became significantly easier for me to finish an entry. The compounding effect starts to show some impact on my personal progress as well as on the number of interactions with this blog.

I am not the first to notice it, but apparently compounding effect is the secret. Put some effort in something every day and let it compound. Study, career, side projects, writing, love, friendship, gym. Anything can be greater when compounded. The hard part is to avoid distractions, make it a routine and be patient. It’s exceedingly difficult. But like someone wise said: difficult choices, easy life. Easy choices, difficult life.

 

A podcast worth listening to

I enjoy listening to episodes in the Knowledge Project by Shane Parrish. There are a lot of interesting and helpful lessons from conversations between Shane and his guests. The one episode I love the most is here, between the host and Naval Ravikant. I have listened to this episode for at least 5 times simply because it is so good.

Naval talked about a wide range of topics. The following points stood out the most to me:

  • The importance of reading and how to read books
  • The importance of habits
  • Happiness & anger
  • The meaning of life

It is a two-hour conversation. A bit long but definitely worth your time. If you look for something to listen to in your car, in the gym or just to have a peaceful time at a coffee shop, I’d highly recommend it. After that, his conversation with Tim Ferriss is a good follow-up.

Have a good weekend ahead!

Inferiority and Superiority Complexes

The dynamic between inferiority and superiority complexes has been on my mind for quite some time, but the book “the courage of being disliked” articulates it better than I ever could. I cannot recommend this book enough. It can be a life changer. Read it if you have time and want to have a better life.

Everyone has the feeling of inferiority, one way or another. There is nothing wrong with it. It is desirable that one uses the feeling of inferiority to drive actions and growth. The inferiority complex refers to the blaming mindset. For instance, I was born in a poor family and uneducated. Therefore, I couldn’t succeed. This “cause and effect” mentality is detrimental to one’s mental health.

A long period of enduring the inferiority complex leads to a superiority complex or a fabricated/borrowed feeling of superiority. Specifically, one “borrows” superiority from using a luxury brand, being associated with a famous person or boasting one’s achievements. Other examples can be using jargon or big empty words. The book quoted Alfred Adler, a philosopher whose credit seems to be less than what he deserved: “The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority”.

I used to fill the hole of my inferiority complex with a superiority complex in the past. I, for sure, still do to some extent nowadays. Fortunately, I have tried very hard and consciously to use my feeling of inferiority to drive my personal growth and avoid living on someone’s value systems or borrowed superiority. I have made an effort to play down whatever I do, keep the low profile, keep my head down and just do my own things.

Unfortunately, it may be a bit tricky and difficult in a society drunk with superiority complex. In the past not so long ago, my friend recommended me to apply for a position in her team because she knows what I can do and that the company can be a good fit for me. I sent my resume. My friend, after two weeks, came back and was mad at me. She said that the hiring manager in her team would want to see me boast more on what I had done and that I needed to make the resume longer with more boastful statements.

One incident doesn’t represent the majority, but it would be naïve to think that it is not common. It makes the task of balancing it out tricky. There is no hard-and-fast rule on this. But I think it’s important that we are aware of these complexes and the practical consequences.

California’s attempt to increase diversity in the boardroom

California may reportedly be the first state in the country that requires a publicly listed company to have female members in its Board of Directors to a certain extent. The bill, if passed, is aimed to improve the gender diversity as women are absent at the board level of 25% of the public traded companies. While the move may have a good intention, I doubt that it’s necessary.

Gender equality has received a tsunami of attention in the past couple of years with the #Metoo and feminism movements. Speaking of businesses alone, we have a lot of female leaders in various industries nowadays such as Marissa Mayer, Sheryl Sandberg, Indra Nooyi, Diane Greene, Stephanie McMahon, Dhivya Suryadevara – the new 39-year-old CFO of GM or the first ever black female CEO of BP, stationed in South Africa, – Priscillah Mabelane, just to name a few. Then we have Angela Merkel or Michelle Obama in politics, Serena Williams in sports or Miley Cyrus and Alicia Keys in entertainment, just a few examples. The best way to ensure the gender equality, in my opinion, is to treat each gender equally, keep the narrative going to avoid complacency and return to the status quo, and encourage girls or female professionals that they can achieve the same as their male counterparts without the relying on social pressure. Those wonderful female leaders, among so many others around the world, should give them hope and inspiration.

The bill by California’s government may create backlash as companies may argue that a female candidate is only chosen over a male peer simply to avoid a regulatory fine. In reality, an appointment decision varies from one case to another. Nonetheless, the bill, if passed, may unnecessarily leave a taint on a female’s appointment.

The gender scale should be balanced, on its own. Sure, it has been tipped to one side for far too long (I personally benefited from the inequality), but it’s a good thing that things are naturally heading towards equilibrium. Forcefully tipping the scale to the other side in the name of equality may not be any different from the male dominance in the past. In other words, how would a female professional feel if she was hired only because of the law and not because of her qualifications? Personally, I believe that fairness trumps unnecessary partiality.

Females are more empowered than ever. Unfortunately, there are still industries and companies with gender inequality, but the tide will go against them soon. I believe that those companies will soon realize that they cannot afford the inequality anymore and that gender equality is for their own good.